Civility

One of my favorite authors who writes about leadership is Susan Komives, Dr. Komives is on the faculty at the University of Maryland and in her book Exploring Leadership for College Students Who Want to Make a Difference, she discusses the concept of leadership as a “relational process of people together attempting to accomplish change or make a difference to benefit the common good.” She goes on to say that leadership is about relationships and involves a focus on five primary components:

• is inclusive of people and diverse points of view,
• empowers those involved,
• is purposeful and builds commitment toward common purposes,
• is ethical,
• and recognizes that all four of those elements are accomplished by being process-oriented.

I would like to add one component, that leadership is based in civility. We can have differences of opinion, we can discuss and disagree, but all of this should be based in civil relationships.

Although usually related to cities and crime, there is a theory called the Broken Windows Theory that suggests that if you ignore the seemingly little problems in a community, things like unkempt lawns, graffiti, or broken windows, it essentially creates a sense of irreversible decline so that people abandon the community or stay away. I think there is a direct correlation between that theory, the issue of civility and the perception people have of our community, Congregation B'nai Tikvah.

As I have said many times, we are a kind, generous, loving community and a community of kindness to each other, not just when someone is need because they are ill or because they have experienced a loss, but because that is who we are as individuals and as a community. We are all leaders in the Jewish Community and all of us have opportunities to become leaders at B'nai Tikvah. Over and over again, I see people doing exceptionally kind things for each other and that was evident during the recent month of holidays. People stepping up whenever there was a need. Although I don't have the final count, we have raised more money in response to the Shomrei Tikvah and the annual High Holiday appeal than I thought possible. For that kindness, for making sure that we don't ignore the little and not so little problems, I am eternally grateful. There is so much we can accomplish when we do it together and when we remember what we learned in pre-school.

B'shalom, Ruth Anne Koenick